An open letter to everyone I’ve been far away from for a long time
by Heidi Obermeyer
Today I’m going to take a little break from my normally somewhat-mediocre-to-pretty-interesting things to talk about and discuss something that seems to have been a recurring theme throughout my life for the past year (and will be for the next few, too, I’m assuming), so if you don’t want to read the random writings of someone you don’t know (or do know, I mean hell, we could be best friends), we’ll see you next time. This one is going to be a little bit boring if you’re looking for action. So here it goes…
Dear everyone I’ve been far away from a long time,
It’s been ages since we last talked, and I mean AGES. I feel like I’ve been bustin’ it out, moving all around the world for the last year of my life that I’ve hardly had a second to take a breath and process what the heck is going on here. I won’t get my real goodbye to Boulder until graduation in December, and I feel like I missed everyone else’s back in May. Boulder still hangs around in my mind like an omnipresent, grounded place that I want to call home, one that is fading into the distance in some ways that make me slightly uncomfortable.
Germany was an intense 10 month stretch of my life. I feel like I did a good job keeping in touch, and so did you. I think we both kind of assumed we would see each other again like we used to once it was over, kind of like a really long summer break in which we were interning in different cities. But somehow… it just kept going. We are STILL this far away. And the scary part about that is that I’m not sure when or where (or even why) that physical separation is going to end. I never realized that being physically close to the people you love was such a treat until I suddenly wasn’t anymore. In German to say “I miss you”, you say “Du fehlst mir,” which translates more to “You are missing from me” than a statement of what *I* am doing. I think that’s more accurate, really. I’m not actively missing, it’s just that pieces that are supposed to be there are suddenly gone. Sie fehlen mir.
Now I’m in North Carolina, where I’m meeting a lot of new people and working on forming a new community and new piece of who I am as a person. It’s fun and interesting and intimidating and challenging in really wonderful ways, but also in some tough ones, like the one I’m writing about right now. What’s almost equally as fun is watching all of you grow and change and adapt and do all the wonderful things that make you you, too- I have to say that I really enjoy it. I think you’re all amazing and that this “real life” thing is going to turn out really, really well.
So for now, I just want to apologize for being far away from you for a long time. I hope that you know that I miss you terribly, and I wish that we skyped more, and some days I just wish that we could go get coffee and then go for a walk because that’s something nice to do on a Sunday afternoon. My moral of the story here is that even though I’m far away, and you are too, I genuinely hope that we can make it through this weird transient time that everyone thought might be a good idea, and that even though I’ve been away for longer than I expected, I hope you know that I think about you often and value your impact on my life.
So from here on out, I’m going to do my best to keep track of you (like I hope I’ve been doing) and hope that you keep track of me. I just want you to know that even though we might not get to be around each other like we used to right now, I’m excited about what’s ahead and looking forward to the parts of the future that involve our further adventures. I miss you.