Today I went on a run through a seriously creepy tunnel. Here’s what happened.

by Heidi Obermeyer

In an attempt to stay “fit” and “sporty” whilst I’m in Bath, I’ve half-heartedly gone running twice now. Today was the second time, and I decided to further my city exploring I would head up the extremely hilly road that I accidentally dragged all my luggage up when I first got here looking for my apartment. I mean, flat. Anyway, this hill is serious business. Like… I was “jogging” at a snail’s pace and totally dead by the time I reached somewhere to turn off. Now, before I left, I had checked google maps and seen some kind of non-road path, which in the past has been the key to awesome running places (in Chapel Hill a line that looked like that was a picturesque creek path, and in Berlin it was a pretty nice track in the park). I had high hopes for this little grey line! What could go wrong?!

So I’m moseying (yes, I mosey when I’m “running” to take a “break”) down towards where I think I’ll meet up with this path, and lo and behold, I find it! To my left: A tunnel entrance of mystery! To my right: A really long route home. On my ipod: Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” starts. And obviously when that song comes on, you make the most dangerous choice available. So I chose the tunnel. Because obviously I am a white rapper comin’ up from nothin’. One shot. One opportunity.

Moving on.

Now, if I could make a meme for this tunnel, it would be like, “Damn tunnel, u scary!” It was REALLY scary in there. Turns out, this tunnel was one of two tunnels on the Two-Tunnels Pathway or something, is a former railway tunnel, and was freakin’ LONG. Like… an entire song long. I’m telling you, if you ever want to go on a run where you actually keep running, you should do it down a dark, scary tunnel.

Anyway, I get through this tunnel (that was 400 hundred meters long… which they have spray-painted on the ground in the tunnel, so you know how many more meters are left for you to try and outrun any ghosts that might be behind you) and am like, “Whoa. I am so not doing that again. I am just going to keep going here and try and find a different path to get home.” Well, it was my lucky day, because this path had basically no exits until you reached… wait for it…. ANOTHER TUNNEL. And this one had an informative warning sign that said the estimated walking time for that tunnel was 25 MINUTES. No way was I testing that one out! So in the end, I had to turn around, walk back the way I came, and psyche myself up to run BACK through scary tunnel #1 instead of going through the more-unknown dark unknown of tunnel #2. It was not fun. Look how dark it was in there! Look at all the little crevices just waiting for someone to hide in them! Danger central.

I think it would have actually been not that bad if you could see through the whole thing, literal-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel style. But this tunnel was curved, and for a solid portion of it you were alone with your thoughts and a bunch of barely sufficient path lighting. Here’s me afterwards:

Can we note here that there was probably a reason those headphones were on sale? I feel like I look like I have huge, florescent, fake elf ears while I’m wearing them. It’s weird. The sound is pretty good though!

Anyway, once I got out of tunnel #1 for the second time, I checked out its informative sign, which stated that the estimated walking time for tunnel #1 was only TEN MINUTES. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had tried to run through tunnel #2?! That’s some Doom-style exercising right there. Long story short, all’s well that ends well, and I was back at my apartment chowing down on chocolate-carmel digestive biscuits in no time. I don’t know what these people put in those things, but I’m starting to think it’s something with addictive qualities suspiciously similar to crystal meth. I guess we may never know.